Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Tips from your local Barista.

My list of top 10 annoyances.

  1. Don't ever ask me "What's good?" I will make you the most expensive thing available. Consider it an idiot tax
  2. Dont wait until I hand you your drink to tell me you wanted it "Half-Caf" or "Extra hot"If you want it that way, tell me when you order.
  3. I understand you may be a regular, but you still have to wait in line!
  4. Dont bring your dog in. Ever. No one wants to be harrassed by "Pumpkin" of "Sweety" or whatever you named that little rat with a diamond collar.
  5. If you order an incredibly difficult drink (Iced double shot decaf mocha with nonfat milk and just a splash of cream) TIP! You see I am running around getting your ice, pulling out the decaf espresso, trying to time your espresso shot correctly, and getting 1 and 3/4 squirts of chocolate (instead of 2) all while smiling as you tell me how tacky everything in San Diego is. Would it fucking kill you to drop me your change??
  6. When I ring up your order and hold my hand out for the cash, dont throw it on the counter. I will pull your shot so short, you wont be able to taste it!
  7. Get off your fucking cell phone. If you are really that interested in Meredith's divorce, dont come up to the counter. Step off to the side or stand outside. If you absolutely cannot get off your phone for 2 minutes, DO NOT give me the "One minute finger" while you hold up the line. I will take the people behind you and I will take my sweet ass time doing so.
  8. If you come in every single day, and order the exact same thing. I will learn it. I am not a moron like your children. You dont have to speak slowly to me. I just asked you if you wanted your usual, please dont insult me by telling me what that is.
  9. My name is Amanda. Not Samantha, Angela, or Sabrina, and sure as fuck not "Mandy"
  10. I really only have 9 I guess.

So yeah, Work has been great. I love it, but I swear these rich bitches need to crawl in a hole and die. or maybe get a job. I have like 70 year old women who have literally MILLIONS of dollars in the bank, have never worked a day and feel the world owes them something. Fuck you lady.


Alicia said...

No one should ever call you Mandy. That's just wrong.

BTW, that pic of Ava is killer.

HomeSlice said...

Mandy?? MANDY??? that is a BARRY MANILOW SONG!!!

cominggoing said...

LMAO!! If you think the pre-caffeine San Diego crowd is bad, you should consider yourself lucky that you don't work in a coffee shop in Orange County. Spoiled OC housewives and their doesn't get much worse than that.

Christina said...

LMAO, I will have to remember these tips if I'm ever become a rich old bitch in Cali. :)

Sara said...

Ok Mandy... all tips are taking into consideration. One sec...

Sorry, couldn't resist.